In Defence of the Selfie

(Repost from August 2015 for Youknowwhoyouare❤)

Although definitely a trend that`s been staying, selfies keep getting slagged mercilessly. They`re considered vain, narcissistic, attention seeking or just plain unnecessary.

I like taking selfies. There, I`ve said it. Most of them won`t ever make it online, and they usually get deleted entirely after a couple of weeks. But every so often, I feel a spontaneous need to take a selfie. I don`t keep a diary other than my blog, and I usually don`t find it important enough to blog or mention to others how I felt in a particular moment. But every so often, I want to capture it, even if just for myself.

I took a selfie while I was waiting to go into a difficult meeting. A very carefully made up woman with big fearful eyes, looking vulnerable despite evident efforts not to show it. And this was exactly how I felt, captured accurately, with no words necessary. I also took a selfie after, totally unexpectedly, bumping into someone I hadn`t seen for ages. I was beaming, wind in my hair, and the sun was shining on it. Such a happy picture!! I could almost see myself running towards her like that. Those were both for myself and not put online.

Then, there`s the selfies that want to speak to others. When I go on holiday, there`s usually pretty soon a picture of me raising a glass of something on facebook, and that`s me telling all that I`ve arrived safely, had no problems (that would have taken precedence over this glass of wine), that it`s nice here, and that I`m greeting them. I also posted a selfie from in front of the Sheriff Court where I was called for jury service, telling friends and colleagues: “Look, I`m really getting to go this time, and I`m going NOW!” The same day, I also photographed myself in a fitting room, in a nice summer dress. It was almost hilarious how many likes I got for that, but it was probably quite an innovative way to say: “Just bought my first summer dress for the season!”

Some messages don`t need words; words wouldn`t have conveyed it as well anyway. In all those three cases, they would have seemed rather dull, actually.

What annoys many is those sexy pre party selfies, usually of young and beautiful females. They are generally considered fishing for compliments pictures. I only agree in part. They are fishing no more than making yourself up in the first place. Of course, you do so in order to look presentable to the outside world, but also to feel nice within yourself. And it`s only natural that you`re more likely to want to go out and show yourself if you feel attractive, just as we all know those days where we just want to stay in our bed because we just feel… fat, usually. Selfies and social media, IMO, are merely an extension of this rather than a phenomenon itself. It`s how we behave offline, too.

It`s also natural that you`re more likely to feel sexy when you`re young, but even (or maybe especially) the young and beautiful do have their down days where they think their bum is too big, or their hair is not right, or they are simply not as hot as their ex` new flame. I`m sure it`s very comforting in such moments to look at a good picture of yourself, only taken a couple of weeks ago, which reminds you that you are indeed beautiful if only you smile. Maybe, we should all have a folder of sexy selfies just for those moments – cheaper than shopping and healthier than chocolate!

Oh – and another thing. The last two times I was on holiday I did the unthinkable: I posted a couple of bikini photos of myself (not selfies). It took me a few days and some courage, but eventually, I posted them and it has, of course, been mentioned. I don`t understand (although I half expected it). I post loads of pics that I find beautiful, especially when on holiday. But as soon as those includes oneself, and worse still, one`s own body, that`s considered rude. Why? Tell me. Please. I genuinely want to know.

Me immediately before of that meeting (which went well, by the way)


Me en route to a rather nice meeting:


Me retaliating to a colleague via WhatsApp:


Me at Elafonisi Beach:


43 Facebook likes for a 40-year old in a dressing room…


I would have added the Court selfie, but I deleted that. Messy hair 🙂


12 thoughts on “In Defence of the Selfie

    • culbia says:

      Thank you – so are you!! 🙂

      Another normal and natural thing – only the best selfies ever get to be posted online. Noone would ever post an ugly picture of oneself, unless it`s meant to be funny.

      I`ve actually got a folder with selfies (and other weird pictures such as cups of coffee, the view from my desk or bed or simply the street) on my computer, and even though I don`t date or tag the I still know what happened the moment before that made me want to take this selfie. It`s like a written diary, but less work :-).

      Liked by 1 person

      • kellychristineflores says:

        Thank you! 🙂 I have many pictures like those myself. Food, coffee, and plenty of views. I’m a nature lover. I have selfies of where I just woke up, and they are not pretty, but fun to look back on for a good laugh. 🙂 I like how you say it’s like a written diary, that’s so true!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. weltbeobachterin says:

    Wow, your pics are authentic and genuine. i feel your feelings. Your reasons for selfies sound so true. A diary of your feelings. Maybe I should start this too! ❤


    • culbia says:

      Some are posed. The one at the Western Wall, for example (not blogged this yet, but it’s on Facebook) I don’t think I looked particularly good on it (it was really hot,and I had to cover up to be admitted),but I was proud to be there, and therefore im proud of the picture.
      The other day I posed in a dress that I bought last year and finally wore for the first time. I was proud to wear it well,but that’s probably in the category that many consider vain. My husband always says it may be nice in old age to look back on such pictures and maybe show to your carer. Indeed there’s one particular lady in the care home whose young pictures left me absolutely in awe because she was so beautiful and elegant. It made me see this 90 year old in a different way.

      Liked by 1 person

    • culbia says:

      Bist hoffentlich nicht boese, wenn ich es ablehne? Ich habs in der Vergangenheit schoen 2 oder 3mal gemacht und wuesste auch nicht, wen ich noch nominieren koennte. .. trotzdem vielen lieben Dank. ..

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s