Why are women so mean about other women`s weight?

I sometimes get the impression they totally relish it when another one puts on weight or otherwise doesn`t look good in this department. (I rarely hear this kind of talk about skin issues or bad hair days.)

Today, I overheard yet another conversation which was just plain nasty. She`s off sick from work, and everybody knows she isn`t ill, so noone who would evoke warm feelings in the first place. Someone asked about her, and someone else said no, she hasn`t spoken to her again, but she`s seen on Facebook that she is currently in Turkey, and there were photos of her sunning herself in a bikini. The moment she said “bikini” the whole focus shifted and became rather ugly.

A women at my old work lost more than half her weight and then put it back on. And some of the women were pleased about it. When I lost weight myself a year or so later, this woman was my inspiration for keeping it off. I don`t don`t want to gain weight again because it doesn`t conform to my beauty standards or would cause me health problems, it`s because I don`t want to make myself vulnerable to nasty comments. I could easily afford another few pounds, but I couldn`t deal with the sneering. I just don`t have enough confidence to be, leave alone become or regain, fat.

I don`t particularly like envy comments either, but I can deal with them because I can see them for what they are. But against fat shame, you`re utterly defenceless, at least in the short term and definitely when you are at an age where you probably have to work really hard to not get even bigger.

I think most women have or had body issues at some point in their lives, and this makes me even more puzzled if I encounter such behavior. I also know women who were big themselves, lost the weight – and with it all the tolerance and compassion they were so wanting for themselves.

Please could someone shed some light? I really want to understand, at least sort of…



3 thoughts on “Why are women so mean about other women`s weight?

  1. J E N N I F E R says:


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    Liked by 1 person

  2. sternenkratzer says:

    Ich kenne das natürlich auch.
    Ich persönlich finde alles extreme schlimm – zu dick und zu dünn.
    Auch habe ich das Gefühl, dass sich manche Frauen mehr “quälen” müssen, um dünn zu sein. Wen jemand echt auf ALLES verzichtet, finde ich das auch krampfig.
    Ich habe auch eine Bekannte, die sehr dünn ist. Sie versucht schon seit drei, vier Jahren ein Baby zu bekommen – bislang erfolglos. Da kommen dann schon auch oft Sprüche – so von wegen, dass es ja klar ist, dass es nicht geht so dünn wie die ist. Ist eigentlich auch blöd, man weiß ja nicht woran es liegt – aber da sie auch so ungesund aussieht, hab ich das auch schon mal gedacht.


    • culbia says:

      Ich finde es nicht (mehr) unbedingt wichtig duenn zu sein. Aber zunehmen finde ich schlimm, aus dem o.g. Grund. Es gibt Leute die *freuen* sich darueber. Die Kollegin ist krank geschrieben bei voller Bezahlung, faehrt schoen in Urlaub und zeigt das ihren Kollegen auf Facebook. Aber sobald das Wort Bikini fiel war dieser ploetzlich die einzige Suende. Da stimmt doch was nicht.

      Ueber sehr duenne Frauen wird auch geredet, ja. Und denen wird auch schnell Absicht unterstellt, wobei ich aus eigener Erfahrung weiss, dass das nicht immer so einfach ist.


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