Decisions, Decisions

What`s the worst outcome of doing it?

What`s the worst outcome of NOT doing it?

What`s the best outcome of doing it?

What`s the best outcome of NOT doing it?

Will the matter itself and what I do, still matter a year from today?

An hourly dose (or as often as I remember) of Scleranthus Bach Flower Remedy will usually help to give me clarity about what I want, too.

… and you?

Saying No

A friend of mine has split from her partner. This was good, but left her with a few practical problems. She had, for example, ordered a new kitchen, and he had agreed to help dismantling and discarding of the old one. Unwilling to ask him this last favor or pay someone else, she (let`s call her Kirsty) asked a friend (Jenny), whose husband is a joiner and has a big enough van as well.

Jenny had previously said she`d help in any way she possibly could, but she is also notoriously unreliable. Unable to say no to anything or anyone, she always finds herself agreeing to commitments which she does not really want to do, and which she then has to get out of at the last minute, because her motivation never appears.

Kirsty knows this, stressed to Jenny how important this was and therefore relied on her not to let her down. Jenny passed her request to her husband, but, for unknown reasons, he declined. Still, Jenny went back to Kirsty and said of course, they`d help. Maybe, she was was hoping to talk him round, maybe she was hoping for Kirsty to understand hints… nobody knows (but Jenny).

Over the next few weeks, Kirsty sensed a change in attitude from Jenny – not looking her in the eye when they talked about the kitchen project, increasingly complaining about how busy she would be over the next few weeks. She even stopped texting her during X-factor to discuss the candidates and seemed short when Kirsty contacted her… It just did not feel right, but Kirsty refused to pursue other options. Surely, Jenny wouldn`t do that to her.

On the morning however, Jenny texted and said both her and her husband were down with sickness and diarrhoea and therefore had to cancel. The two haven`t spoken since. One feels betrayed and let down, the other victimised for falling ill.


The Girlfriend who Dumped Me…

Every so often, there are still things I want to tell her. Things I think would make her laugh or she`d be interested in or only she would understand. I usually WhatsApp her, but then I remember that we don`t talk any more, and I think I`ll put it on Facebook. Then I remember that she`ll have unfollowed me there, too, for she`s ignoring me ever since … we didn`t fall out about anything, actually. I then remember that this is not true, because she recently asked someone a question about something I posted. So she is reading, probably rather eagerly so. I`m just not supposed to know. But I can post it. No, I can`t. For she`ll know that it`s been posted for her and recognize that I`m still reaching out…

Decluttering Toiletteries: Lipsticks

Today, let me introduce you to my collection of nude lipsticks:


There`s one missing, which lives in my handbag. Doesn`t matter, though, as it pretty much looks the same as the others. Fortunately, all but one coral and one pink are coming to an end.

BTW, I`ve got a lip brush for the sole purpose of scraping the last bits out of my lipsticks, which extends their life span by about another 2 months, depending on use.

Coworkers and Facebook – Befriend or don`t Befriend?

Because we are chatting on WhatsApp, a co-worker is now being suggested as a friend on facebook.

Hrmpf. When I changed jobs I vowed not to befriend new colleagues on facebook. In my last office, this repeatedly led to mutual surveillance, peer pressure and jealousy. Several people were disciplined, and one was sacked for what she posted. I never felt less close to colleagues who were not on facebook (or didn`t connect to co-workers), but my relationship with those who were was, to varying degrees, more complicated.

Now, I`m already considering what I can and cannot write with my colleague reading. Moreover, she could be linked to others, who then get suggested to me and vice versa, and within no time at all, I`d be back to square one. I like my colleagues, but with most of them, I`m not interested in their personal lives. Once you connected on facebook, though, you`re expected to.

My relationship with this particular woman is nice as it is now. I can`t see facebook adding much. But if she sees and requests me, I couldn`t ignore her or worse, put her in her place by saying I won`t befriend co-workers. Actually, I think I could say to her that I don`t want to recreate the problems in my old office by feeling pressurised to befriend others as well, and then we could talk about it, and she could let me know what things are like, if she is at all part of it…

Once again, I find myself suffering facebook anxiety… 😦