… I was interested enough to look up on our Intranet the conditions for voluntary redundancy and who was at risk of compulsory redundancy. The former weren`t interesting at first, and the latter wasn`t scary, and I found myself strangely disappointed about both.
When I learnt that the redundancy payment was not taxed and likely to be increased, I sought confirmation that I wasn`t committing to anything by noting an interest, and then I did exactly that. I didn`t want to miss the boat. I wanted to keep my options open while I was finding out more and weighing up the pros and cons, buy myself time.
Meanwhile, I started to look for jobs, found that there were plenty of things, and I applied for a couple. Neither materialised, but I discovered that I did indeed have other options than this average paying dead end job that takes me 3 hours a day to travel back and forward, and that`s increasingly annoying me. I`ve never been looking for years.
While the deadline expired and other people made further decisions, I had plenty time to think. Everything was pointing in just one direction:
- My current job has not added to my CV in three years or so, and I don`t expect it to do so in the near future. I`ve been doing it for almost 5 years now, and its only challenges remain annoying people and politics.
- The sheer fact that I didn`t have a clue until recently what I wanted to do instead should feel scary – I`m becoming institutionalised and eventually unemployable by anyone else.
- I`m 40 years old. Still young enough now to start elsewhere – but not for much longer. After speaking to an increasing range of people, I`ve now changed my mind in the age thing. It`s the perfect age to start afresh. It`s only half time nowadays, and it` not unusual nowadays for people to have two careers. Man women return to work at 40 after raising their children. Prospective employers no longer fear that we are going to fall pregnant now, and neither do we suffer from the health problems associated with older age. I`m a grown woman who knows what she wants and not a young girl who`ll quit a job after a few months because she decides that she wants something else. I`ve got a lot to offer, and any good HR person will realise that.
- If I`m not moving now, I probably never will and still be here on the day I retire. At least, only now will I get paid to leave. Is this a sign?
- I expect working conditions to become less pleasant, and this has started already.
- There are still people here that I`m attached to, although many have left already. The others will not stay just because I like working with them. Those who are really important will stay in my life.
- Not so long ago I said if I didn`t work, I wouldn`t know what to do instead. Weirdly, the list is growing by the day now. Some of those things excite me so much that I want to quit work immediately so I can start right now.
(to be continued)