I had a job interview yesterday – the first in three years. It`s pretty much the same thing that I`m already doing, although I considered that there was more room for progression with this other employer. Even though, I didn`t have the faintest idea re how to prepare and where to start, and I even caught myself self sabotaging by prioritising other things.
I was extremely nervous when I walked in (straight from my husband`s retirement presentation), and it did not start well.:The man in the middle looked at me over his glasses and shuffled his papers: “First of all, I need to clarify something,” he said slowly. I thought I had forgotten something important in my written application, but he slowly read out what I applied for. “Is that right?” I agreed, and there was silence. And I thought damn, they think there`s something wrong, that maybe I`ve fallen out with someone in my current job. “… and you see that as a progression?” he asked me later, and, everything contracting inside, I replied probably not yet, but I see more room for movement.
My interview was dreadful. I had prepared for questions I wasn`t asked, and I was asked questions that I was not prepared for. I gave an example of me making a mistake and someone else having to fix it, then talked about myself speeding and running into another car, and although this is a really good story to illustrate a particular thing, I left out the best part of it. Not good at all.
Something inside me however wasn`t quite as disappointed as I felt I should have been. Maybe the man was right, and the job was too samey – bit more money and better career prospects, shorter travel time but without my colleagues, whom I`d miss very sorely. It would definitely not add to my CV – the reason I want to leave my current job in the first place. It would have been handy, but it wasn`t what I really wanted.
Low and behold, I got a phone call today stating that I was unsuccessful. What surprised me, though, was that they really liked my interview and ranked me 4th out of 194 applications. And then she said they think I should go for something “much, much higher” than this post, for I`ve got good qualifications and good experience. And I discovered that I was delighted – delighted at being unsuccessful and delighted at this kind of feedback, which makes me feel no failure whatsoever. Opposite, in fact.