My Feline`s Ashes

… is back. And now – what do we do with it? I have no idea.

Deep down, I would have preferred not receiving it back, but we`ve got the ashes of our two other cats, and it would have felt wrong not to ask for hers also.

When Emmy died, we were given the option of having her cremated together with other deceased pets, or on her own and then get the ashes back. The latter sounded comforting at the time and the former just heartless. There seemed to be just one right thing to do.

I however remember how I felt when the ashes returned. It was like losing her all over again. The little cardboard box seemed too tacky for its precious content, although I was touched by the printed condolescence card that accompanied it. It was my husband`s idea to open the little box and look inside it. The ashes was mainly white, but it had blue bits in it. Emmy was an Oriental Blue. I cried so hard, and I vowed never to look again. Because she never liked being in the garden, it did not feel appropriate to bury her there, so we kept her inside the house. When her beloved sister Saffy died a few years later, it felt natural to place her next to Emmy.

And now, there`s Kitti`s as well. She never really got on with Emmy and Saffy, and she loved being in the garden. I can`t however quite bring myself to bury her there, because I`d feel like we are favoring Emmy and Saffy for allowing them to stay inside the house.

A long time ago, I said when they are all gone, I`ll have a diamond ring made of all of their ashes, but I no longer feel the need. Jimmy suggested having them scattered together with ourselves, and I certainly don`t want to bequeathe them to anyone else.

Bottom line: Don`t start it. It may seem the right thing to do when you are first presented with the options, but it`ll just become a burden.

You may want to bury them in your garden, but even this can become a burden if you`re ever moving house. A friend of mine even asked her husband to dig up her cats and re-bury them in their humans` new home, but fortunately, she could be counselled out of this one.


11 thoughts on “My Feline`s Ashes

  1. Lilith says:

    Ich verstehe Dich, ich hatte selber Katzen, die ich sehr geliebt und so sehr um sie getrauert habe, als sie verstarben, dass ich kein neues Tier mehr haben wollte. Ich halte das einfach nicht aus, das noch mal zu erleben. Mach, wie es Dein Herz Dir sagt, nur so ist es richtig.

    Liked by 1 person

    • culbia says:

      Bei mir ist es genau umgekehrt. Diese Leere im Haus ganz ohne Katzen, das konnte ich einfach nicht ertragen. Ich war viel aus in den drei Wochen, wollte nicht zuhause sein, besonders wenn mein Mann auch nicht da war…


  2. Charis says:

    Exactly the point – do whatever your heart is telling yourself … ❤
    I'm scared to bury our cat someday, even this day seems far away – Lilly is a member of our family. It's strange to people who don't have pets, anyway –
    to us it's a horror just to think about the topic … :/
    Wish you to overcome your acute pain soon and let's think of the happy days … 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • culbia says:

      I have reached my conclusion: I will buy a beautiful piece of jewellery which I can fill with some of her ashes (look for “cremation jewellery” online) and wear around my neck, and the rest of her will be buried under “her” tree. There`s no more grass growing there, just a brown patch, because she was constantly lying there.

      Yeah, that`s a solution that I feel very comfortable with…

      Liked by 1 person

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