The Difference between Yours and Mine

I`m raised to know from a very early age the difference between yours and mine. My mum still prides herself that her children never opened other people`s drawers, never longingly looked at their possessions and never stole a single thing, but although this will certainly have made us easier children, I sometimes wonder whether it also made me an adult who is too reluctant to share.

Don`t get me wrong – I`ll give you anything you want, but today, I had a(nother) situation where I felt forced to give something away, and something from deep inside me wanted to cry out that I didn`t really want to.

I had a punnet of strawberries sitting on my reception desk which I ate while working away. While I turned round, a child (just under 2 years old) discovered the fruit and will have indicated that she wanted some, so the social worker picked one and gave it to her just as I was turning round. While the little one was already munching, the social worker (who is a lovely woman, just in case anyone asks) said I hope it was okay to give her one of your strawberries. I said of course it was (and meant it!), but three minutes later, the child pointed again, social worker picked another one and, while already handing it to the child, asked: “Can she have another one?” I blurted out “It`s my fault that I put them there in the corner, so yes, help yourself.” I think she got the message, as she moved the punnet and profusely thanked me once again for my two strawberries as they left.

She probably thought I was being mean, but something inside me felt that my rights were being violated, just as I did when my dad freely helped himself to our sweets right in front of us if we didn`t hide them, but punished us if he missed a couple of squares of his chocolate, stating that he bought this chocolate from HIS money which HE is working hard for.

Why am I still so damaged at the age of 40 by what my parents have done to me more than half a life ago?

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5 thoughts on “The Difference between Yours and Mine

  1. Lilith says:

    War nicht o.k. von ihr, die Erdbeeren zu nehmen und danach erst zu fragen, das hätte mich auch aufgeregt, auch, wenn sie sie nicht für sich selbst, sondern für das kleines Kind genommen hat. Ich verstehe Dich gut.

    Like

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